Saturday, 15 November 2008

Fear and Light...

SO after a week on being at home with my poorly babes I was kind of suffering from cabin fever, its been a week filled with lots of issues and at times I have felt a little overwhelmed and sometimes that I was positively 'not in control' of the situation... without any free time to knit or sew, my ways to a) have some form of work b) to relax and sooth the soul.  Well things felt a little claustrophobic.  I needed to get out...Well I took things in hand and went for the old 'feel alive' technique.  All my life I have had a fear of dams, I know how I got it so its a real fear. Today I confronted that fear head on... well maybe not quite as bravely as that sounds.  On a windy and somewhat chilly day a walk was taken and instead of just passing the dam as I have done many times, I walked over it.  Not only that... when I got to the bit in the middle, the place the water rushes under you and then down the long drop of concrete, I tried three times until I stood and looked over... No I leaned over... The heart raced, the chill was taken over by a burning feeling, my breath quickened, my chest heaved with anxiety, I felt nauseous..  BUT I DID IT!!! Hurrah!
Today (I am usually away on Saturday so its all out of routine at present) on going through this months batch of pictures I noticed a lot of them centred around the light, that special light you only get at this time of year, I have talked about it before, its soft, mellow and it shines with it all those little sparkly particles of dust...
So one day I was cutting out a pattern and the light was blazing down on my work area Click...

I look down and see my feet pressed together as I maneuver around the floor trying to cut out the pattern, basking in the sunlight with my homemade socks on for warmth Click...
I move around the house with the camera in hand wondering from room to room, each room offering a different intensity of light... My clothes rail, a rail of clothes waiting to be put away. Click...
My favourite necklace of the moment and my trusty thumb ring. Sitting in the place I had taken them off the day before.  I am not in to gold or diamonds and I do not wear rings much, instead I love bold 'kookie' jewelery and for rings, well its my thumb ring or a large chunky dress ring and its a sign of the return of good weather when I get my toe ring back on. Click...  (I am so loving the shadow).  

So before the light fades into winter greyness, take a moment, look around and see if you can see the special rays and may they shine on you and not show up your dust!

Its a quieter week in the house, so I have been listening to Razorlight...Wire (The lead singer looks like someone I know and I could sure look in his eyes all day) and Cold Play...Violet Hill (I have clear memories of when I first heard this song)
The children have been dancing to Kanye West Love Lock Down-on those moments when the Calpol has had an effect.
We have all enjoyed a bop to Madonna Give it to me-I have grown up with this women.
If you can not link direct, they are all on YouTube.
We have all been watching the trailer for Oktapodi  

OK enough pondering on life. Back to show and tell (WIP) next week.  

15 comments:

Tracy said...

Congrats, Suzie on moving from fear to FEARLESS! :o) What a great thing...And good you got out a bit--LOL! Fun to see your socks, clothes and jewelry treasures. Nice playlist too. Happy Days taking in the little things and big things while you all recover there...((HUGS))

April said...

Wello done you on confronting your fears!

April xx

Thimbleanna said...

Wow! That's awesome. Beautiful light pictures -- and since our recent trip to the UK I've been noticing moss everywhere -- look at it all on that dam!!!

periwinkle said...

well done on facing your fear and conquering it - very brave of you. Lovely socks too
lisa x

Sarah said...

What a great feeling it is when we challenge ourselves and win out :o)

Love the mellow golden warmth in the light that as you say is so specific to autumn.

moss stitch said...

Love the socks. You are so clever. I had to do a second take when I read you had made them! Good on you for confronting your fears. Is your clothes rail really that neat?
M
xx

Thimbleina said...

I love the photos and I love that mellow golden light that shines through at this time of year

Heart in the country said...

Well done Suzie - Water and Heights my two phobias :0(
Love the socks, I'm really impressed with your skills, and I'm glad your babes are better. My No 2 has succumbed to a throat infection today...but he just likes to lie in his room on his own, he doesn't like being fussed when poorly (takes after his mum!) so no sitting watching films and hugs on the sofa required, how quickly they grow up!

Jane said...

Well done for conquering your fear. I managed mine when i went up the Spinnaker tower on Monday. Your photos of light are lovely. Sorry to hear your little ones have been poorly hope they are all better now. Jane x

Donna said...

Well done Suzie on feeling the fear but doing it anyway. Powerful stuff eh?

Hope you managed to find my blog again.

Donna x

Melanie said...

Hia Suzie, love your socks! I love knitting socks too -with the odd ball from a charity shop usually.

Well done for being brave a fellow blogger Annie Coe is attempting to alter her life in this way and it's really working out for her.

It's lovely to hear from a fellow UK crafter. I'm in the NW. You? Thanks for visiting my blog.

Heart in the country said...

Hi Suzie

I've given you an award. If you would like to accept it please pop in to my blog to collect.

Kx

monkee maker said...

Well done for facing that dam head on and going over it!

Your light pictures are lovely (especially those socks - they rock!) and I loved your meme in your last post too .... Coffee creams while watching Luca on ER .... mmmmmmmmm!

:)

Lin said...

I love that Razorlight song. There is a book isn't there called "Feel the fear and do it anyway" I love that saying!

Lazylol said...

Good for you Suzie! I have a fear of open dark water so I sort of understand the dam thing!
Hope your lot are all on the mend x