Friday, 29 February 2008

Being Mom...

Being a Mom is something I think about everyday it really is a gift...I love my role as Mommy and as someone who has drifted from one job to the next I have finally found something I love doing and I hope I do not assume to much here...but feel I am good at... So with Mothers day this weekend I am going through my usual thought processes of having a Mom and being a Mom. Well in fact having two Moms, being adopted throws up some funny thoughts around times like Birthdays and Mothers Day. I wounder if my birth Mom thinks of me, I know my Mom does, she has already been on the phone making sure I remember to send her a card...which was entertaining as I had just fought my way through rush hour traffic with the children to get to town for a little something for Mothers day for her.

Becoming a Mom completely turned all my emotions about adoption on its head...if I am honest some of those feelings are still rolling around my head having not found the right home for them...I mother with a passion and I can not think of anyone I want to spend time with more than my children, sure they drive me up the wall at times...I am human after all...but there is a tighter bond there than I could have ever thought possible...the thought that these two little pickles of mine really are a part of me...conceived and grown in my body, brought into this world where I continued to feed, nurture, love, teach and take care of them...it just blows my mind. Could I have given them up like I was given up...well without knowing all the details I have no right to make a judgement and as I will never know the whole story, it is one of those things I will just have to accept. I have no roots, I never feel like I belong and yet someone I never met loved me enough to carry me and bring me in to the world and made sure I was taken care off...It might be a different Mothers Love to how I love...BUT it is LOVE...DO I look like her? Do I have a sister or a brother? Did she marry? Does she think of me? Are there health issues I should know about? So many unanswered question's. A Mothers Love...IT has so many meanings and possibilities.

If your a MOM I wish you a special Mothers day...Remember though its not the size of the gift you get on Mothers Day its the Love and thought put into it. Give your babes a cuddle (no matter how big or small they are) and hold them tight and never let them out of your heart...

27 comments:

anne bebbington said...

Very eloquently written and thought provoking Suzie - I'm not adopted but Nigel's SIL is and was fortunate enough to initiate and build a successful relationship with her birth mother once she became a mother herself, happily this also had no detrimental effect on her relationship with her adoptive mother. I guess having your own children must focus your mind on underlying queries about your own heritage. Your boys are so lucky to have you as a mother - they will never have that air of uncertainty - enjoy Sunday :o)

Lesley said...

Beautiful post Suzie and very brave of you to share your feelings with us. I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day with your babes,

xxxx

sal said...

You wrote that so well Suzie.I wish you the happiest day on Sunday.With Love,Sal;-)

Lucy Locket-Pocket said...

That's a very moving post Suzie - I can only begin to imagine how rootless you feel and I can see how fiercly attached you are to your own littles. Have a lovely mother's day with them. Lucy x

Queen of the froggers said...

Have a really special day with your little ones. x

the flour loft said...

Hi Suzie,
Your 'emotional witter' label doesn't do this post justice. Very heartfelt and very moving. Have the most splendid and happiest of Mothers Day.
The best feeling in the world is to hugs those little ones isn't it?
Have a lovely weekend.
ginny
x

sarah said...

Happy Mother's Day, my dear!

Miles Away In France said...

Happy Mothers to you.

Racheal x

Kitty said...

I hope you and your two have a wonderful day tomorrow Suzie. I can relate to almost everything you wrote - but I wasn't adopted. I'm sure nobody that wasn't can totally understand, but you wrote of it very movingly.

Take care hun. xx

dottycookie said...

What a lovely and courageous post Suzie. And thank you for the reminder to snuggle our little ones (even when they are being cheeky!). Have a lovely day tomorrow.

French Knots said...

Heartfelt and beautiful.Wonderfully written.x

Janie said...

Happy Mother's Day to you Suzie. beautiful post.

Love Janie
xo

Summer by the sea said...

Really nice post Suzie - The last bit made me smile as my 2 boys aged 10 & 8 went into a local charity shop for my gift, a beautiful plate decorated with roses which says 'mother' on it - it cost them 75p but I love it! - I asked them if the people in the shop were kind to them (as some shops can be funny about 2 school boys coming in) but they reassured me that the lady was very nice and asked them if it was for mothers day. Enjoy your day - natalie x

julie said...

What a beautiful and moving post Suzie. It's wonderful that your two littlies bring you such joy and that with your background you appreciate them all the more. You have a lot of love in your heart - your boys are certainly lucky to have you as their mummy. Enjoy your Mother's day x

Tea Time and Roses said...

Hello Suzie...

Beautiful post....Happy Mother's Day to you.

Smiles...

Beverly

this is my patch said...

What a lovely rainbow hat, that has set me off on good cheer this morning. We all have many questions but only we ourselves can try and work out the answers. You have the gift of children, who you love very much, just keep enjoying every day with them. x

weirdbunny said...

My daughter, made me a card and salt dough pretend biscuits, she also picked me daffodils from the garden. My son told me he didn't do cards, or Mothers day ! But it's those sort of comments that make you want to squeeze them and love them even more !

My friend has been in contact with her birth mother for about the last year. She said she had no desire to know about her, but then it all changed after her second child, she just needed to find her. They get on brilliant. The mother had got pregnant by a boy across the road and basically she had no choice in it, her parents made her give the baby up.

Both friend and birth mother are still keeping it under wraps, as my friend doesn't want to upset to adoptive parents, as she feels they are probably to elderly for any change ~ love Julia x

artisbliss said...

Found you via moogsmum and had to comment. This is so beautifully said. It seems that your experience has deepened your already strong mothering instinct and made your relationship with your own children that much sweeter. It is good that positive things can come out of bittersweet experience. Bless you and your children.

dottydesigns said...

hi Suzie, thank you for your comment on my blog, I hope I am a good Mummy, like you I love being a Mum and although mine drive me mad sometimes, I like being with my 2 loads. It is funny how conversations you have are sometimes repeated in another way. Today I went to a photo scrapbooking workshop and helped a lady there who was a foster mother and a boy she was fostering was being adopted on Wednesday. We made him a photo album to take with him and I said i don't know how anyone could give up their baby, but also said but until you know the circumstances you should never judge. Everyone has their reasons but i love what you wrote. Sorry this is sooo long a comment. Hope you had a good day. x

Liz said...

Your touching post made me realise what progress we've made in adoption practice and that now children who, for whatever reason, are unable to live with their birth families, move on to their adoptive families with as much information as can be gathered. Then once they're with their new families children have at least letterbox contact with their birth parents and siblings and wherever possible direct contact. I hope you had a lovely day yesterday with your family (and your thoughts). Thanks so much for leaving a comment on my blog.

A Fanciful twist said...

Miss Suzi, Happy Mother's day! You brought tears to my eyes. It must be so hard, and yes, I agree, you are so brave to share how you feel. It is so important that you voiced it. And, you are the most amazing mommy!!

Jane said...

Thankyou Suzie for your comment on my blog, Your post was very thought provoking and made me realise how lucky we are to be Mother's. Jane x

cmoon said...

My children are in their 30's and I still hug them with the same motherly love as I did when they were tiny. Bigger hugs all round!
I hope you had a lovely Mother's Day and continue to cherish every moment with your little ones.Thanks for your comments. I look forward to future mutual visits.
c*

Rachelmp said...

What a lovely post Suzie. I hope your mothers day was a day to cherish x Rachel

julia said...

Very courageous of you to share your thoughts with us, it must be a very difficult thing to deal with, but as usual you expressed your feeling beautifully. I hope you had a lovely mother's day.
Julia xx

Ruth said...

I hope you had a lovely day on Sunday. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us - it was a very moving post. Your blog is a warm and friendly place to visit and you write wonderfully about being a Mum.

Tracy said...

Lovely post...Hope you had a lovely Mother's Day, Suzie! ((HUGS))