Monday, 14 April 2008

friendship...quilts

A little blog break...woops...not intentional...I had a great few days with my friend and her fab kids...I can not tell you how much I have missed having the house full of the sound of children playing. I used to belong to the National Childbirth Trust and as my babes grew in to toddlers and then little people I made so many good friends through this organisation. My house was full of babes on a regular basis. I am not a huge fan of play places (although they have a place) and who needs them when you have a group of children running around your house pretending to be fairies or pirate etc... Its funny how things change, as the fist born started school it became a little difficult for friends to meet up so often, so for a year or so we would meet up after school for a high tea with the children's friends and still the Mums got a chance to have a chat and feel connected to the outside world.
Then it changed, some of the friends got past 'play dates' and they no longer wanted to meet up...there seems to be a stage when once your children have started school you cut off the friendships who have babes or toddlers in them...I mean your past that stage? Funny...I never got to that stage, after all it was the mother I had befriended, not the children, they were usually a bonus...especially if my children enjoyed their company.
Then came the even 'odder' stage...I was one of the few stay at home Moms when I had periods of time without my children...some friendships once again changed...I had the friends that would make comments about 'getting a life' or ' get into the real world and contribute some money into the home'...or worse still some friends would just stop including me as I was without a child, I guess I did not fit the stereo type anymore. I became guilt ridden, obsessive and at times quite low. Then one day something changed...
I opened my eyes and worked out that the work 'friend' was being used to loosely...actually what I had was connections and friends...the friends I have now, the ones which allow me to be me...with or with out my babes around...if I go out to work or stay at home and keep house...they are my friends. They 'get' me...faults included as none of us are perfect, they do not judge or make assumptions, they are there through thick and thin and most of all they make me laugh and be glad that I am alive and I hope I do it in return.
So to have had a true friend come and stay, to hear the children laughing and the house a mess and just not care...to spend time knitting and talking about my blog without feeling a freak...to listen to the ups and downs of someone elses family life...yep I am blessed with a few very good friends...yes I have lots of connections which is great but, as for friends...I am blessed.

I sat this morning with my coffee and bagel, the house was so quite...post holiday blues started to loom...I thought I would go to my sewing room, on the way the doorbell rang...I was greeted by a friend and lovely bunch of flowers...two hours of chatting later..sharing stories about our children and talking of our plans...Yes the word 'Friend' is used to loosely...friends are special and a true gift...I feel blessed...

So with all the busy company I have had I still managed to get some 'making' done, A lot of knitting, the sweater is nearly finished now...I had been playing about with some ideas in my head for a children's quilt...I finally got around to using the fabric I had collected over the last few years, lots of children's vintage, some of the boys fabric used for PJs, Noddy curtains, some fabric left over from school pump bags and some fabric that came my way as a gift from Sals Snippets and Queen of the frogger. A simple quilt with a busy theme...a few linen squares with an idea of embroidering in some memories...

Photo 1) Getting there 2) ideas for embroidery (the camper van was a copy of a loved Tee shirt) 3) getting sewn together 4) cutting out all those squares 5) The mess

15 comments:

Sal said...

Well put Suzie!

Oh I do I love the different fabrics... and you've got some Noddy fabric too..lucky you ;-)

Lucy Locket-Pocket said...

I think friendships made through young children always change as the children grow - I now have a very close group of friends some of whom have children of similar ages but the ones I have the closest connections with are those I have things in common with myself - eg, gardening, crafting, approach to life - regardless of whether our children are friends.

Love your quilt!

driftwood said...

I know what you mean about friendships changing, and feeling left out when others meet because you don't have a child in tow. I also know how it is to want to meet a friend "without" the children becuase some combinations just don't work, and how it is so nice sometimes to drink a cup of tea while it is hot, without it getting knocked over! but I think the people we spend time with when the children are small will always be special, if they become long lasting friends, or if they just made you that one cup of tea on a day you wanted to tear your hair out. It's so nice that you've got a friend you can share your interests and your blog with.

Kitty said...

Couldn't agree more Suzie - I still keep toys here for tiny tiddlers - because I want to welcome friends in who have kids of ALL ages. It is harder, once they get older, to keep in touch, but I find that with those I really want to keep in touch with (and who want to keep in touch with me!) an effort is made, and we are still friends.

All that fabric is making me drool - you are very lucky to have that little craft area.

x

Lesley said...

Lovely post Suzie. I've just spent today with my best friend - she's been my best friend since I was 5 and although our lives have changed we've always managed to keep in touch. Other 'friends' drifted away over the years. I now have a lovely circle of friends who I have met at different stages in my life - we may not see each other for a long time but that connection is always there :)

xxx

LOUISE @ HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS said...

The definition of friend in my dictionary is a person who one knows, likes and trusts, supports and sympathises with. I think this sums up a friendship perfectly. You have two little friends in your children, my best friend is my partner J. Friendships often fizzle out, due to different circumstances, but others come along, to replace the friendships that have gone before. x

anne bebbington said...

My late partner always used to say 'You meet many acquaintances in your life but only a few friends' - your posting illustrates this perfectly - love that Surf-dude line drawing - just right for a stitchery

Queen of the froggers said...

What lovely quilts you make.

French Knots said...

What a super vibramt quilt, some scrummy fabrics there.
I think true friends are very few and far between, well put.

Tracy said...

Lovely post...lovely sentiments here on childrend and changing relationships--all apart of life. :o) Love what's happening with the quilt--the embroidery ideas are wonderful and fun! Your sewing corner is terrific...all those fabrics and thread are calling out to me! Happy week to you all ((HUGS))

the homely year said...

Hi Suzie, How true, your thoughts about friendships! and love your bright fabrics...the quilt will be great.
Margaret and Noreen

Anonymous said...

Oooh - what a lovely and insightful post - so glad you had a great week and got lots of knitting done. Love the quilt - it looks like it'll be a great one to snuggle under on all those camping holidays to come this summer!
Caroline
xx

julia said...

One of the (many) reasons I'm dreading Kit starting school is what'll happen to friendships made whilst my children have been little. I know that a few of my current friendships will probably peter out in time but i also know that some of them will last. One on the most difficult times recently was when a friend I thought was a close one dropped me and the children when her youngest one started school. What upset me more was that our eldest children had been best friends since about 6months old so I hurt for Jack more than me, actually I realise now how much happier I am without her.
Julia x
ps, LOVE the quilt!

Anonymous said...

Oh I used to have NCT coffee mornings at my house, they were such a fantastic thing to do. I'd love going to other peoples houses for them too. My house used to get trashed ! But such fun ..... love Julia (weirdbunny) x

JuicyFig said...

here here! re; friends.

I have many aquaintances, and just a few friends, but they are worth their weight in gold!

Kath
x