Before I witter on I wanted to say a big thank you to all of you that left a comment. I am still at the amazed stage of blogging that people actually read this and more importantly take time out of your own busy crafting time to leave a comment. I thank you, you guys make me smile. So a week since the holiday and the tearful mood has not left me, its Monday now and I have finally worked out why, I will explain later on...So when I had one of those moments, the kind when you think all is right with the world and your so happy to be alive, it felt good. On Friday I was planning on inviting a couple of friends for lunch, one of my friends is very tidy, I am not, before we go to her house, which is a lovely house I must add, she cleans it for us. This is so nice, but I feel I should return this and clean and tidy up pre a visit here. Now I do not get this amount of 'making and playing' done without something being missed out... and that's HOUSEWORK!!! My moto is...
Clean enough to be health and dirty enough to be happy
So I was in the middle of numerous projects, gardening and playing with my youngest...I just did not feel like doing the cleaning for a visit. This makes me so sad, I would love not feel like this and most of the time I don't, but this day I decided to isolate myself. After school I went to the library and got a ton of books out, the children asked to go to the park, it was dinner time , but so sunny and no one was there so I thought 'What the hell'...
Our park is in the valley with the most spectacular scenery, all very green and beautiful blue skies with Simpson clouds. I had picked up the latest Debbie Bliss knitting book and I sat on the grass and all three of us just read our books. When the boys did go off to play I watched them. This amazing feeling of peace and contentment swept over me. The view, my children and the solitude. OK we had a late supper followed by a late bedtime, it was so worth it. Once the house was put back into some order I felt the need to sew. I finally cut into this lovely fabric. I had planned on something really special for it, I am now seeing this fabric pop up all over the place so it does not feel as special, I pulled out the cutters...One project finished. I especially love my IPOD pocket inside. Also the straps are long enough to go over my shoulder. My summer bag. Saturday was a lazy day, in the morning my children watched a movie, Just because they wanted popcorn, my little poppets had made the living room into a cinema, including all the other viewers...DO you recognise any of the viewers?
Finally on to the tears, When I was away I met up with some of the school gate Moms and their children and we went to a Farm. One of our friends is rather ill, she has had an ongoing Battle with Breast Cancer, once been given the all clear and then diagnosed again, since then it has spread quite viciously around her body. She has amazing spirit and had touched so many people with her strength. Anyway she was staying up for the week with one of my friends and had gone back for treatment for the day and we all had the pleasure of having her children play for the day (her children are a delight). I spent some time talking to one of my friends about this nasty disease and shared the personal story of the last twenty four hours of my fathers life. It was unemotional at the time, it was about facts not emotion. So I returned home and carried on and tried to get into the grove of the day to day rhythm of my life, it never really happened and its been a funny week. After a visit to my home to see my own Mom, always emotional for various reasons which I want go into. There was a flower in the garden which my Mom commented on was my Dads rose, I pulled out my camera and took the picture. This then opened up a conversation about my Mom wanting the camera back. It was my Dads, we spent many hours discussing photography and it is the thing he has passed on to me. To use his camera daily to take a picture knowing his hands had held it means so much. I know my Mom just wants to have it for emotional reasons and who could blame her. But it will not get used and this saddens me. When I came home later in the evening the tears rolled down my face, I miss my Dad.
If your still reading your doing well. This is not a post for sympathy, its a good post for me as its out there now, I now know why I have been emotional and that's OK. I try not to think about my Dad then suddenly it just hits me. The tears do help and the photography...well thanks Dad you taught me well.
Need to dash...the piggies are off to the vets to be sexed...frisky activity going on last night and I think they actually might be a Charlie and a Lola, although the frisky one is actually Lola, Oh the joys.