Hurrah... British summer time....

Its finally here, hurrah it feels like its been a long long winter filled with greyness, cold and some snow, well a lot of of snow actually.  The weekend was fitting indeed for the time of year... it started off with more grey skies, gales and lashing rain.  My mood fitted the weather just fine, everything seemed wrong everything seemed to hurt and well just not quite fit...I weathered out the storm with a heavy heart.  I curled up in bed and listened to the wind whipping around my home and the rain tapping on my window as it denied me my sleep.  I pulled up my homemade quilt a little higher and I dipped my head under the covers in search of some peace... I finally fell into a disturbed sleep... I awoke today with the light pouring in through the window replacing the greyness, instead of the gales blowing I could hear birdsong and as I threw back the quilt I felt no chill in the air... The timing was perfect as if nature itself was marking this day a day that fills me with promise and hope of all things outdoorsy... The start of British summer time....
So its best foot forward, stiff upper a lip and time to embrace all that nature has in store for us. The daffodils shine their golden trumpets and the blossom in the trees lifts up my weary heart. Yes its a time for fresh starts, new beginnings and a happy and healthier season...  So I welcome in this time with open arms and I make a few promises to myself... 

What could be more fitting for this day than a picnic on the the beach, a paddle in the sea and a cup of Hot Chocolate from the flask to chase the chill away...

As my little family close our eyes tonight we smile as we know the best is yet to come... I hope you had a special day to mark this time, blue skies all round and everything bursting into life...

boys will be boys...

With all the talk recently about mothers it has made me think a lot about my little family.  I am a Mom to two active boys.  Now there is nothing unusual about that you might think... but being a bit of a girlie girl I really notice how boyish my guys are...  All around my home their personality creeps in...The girliest room in my home has to be my sewing room, all the pretty fabric and thread, lots of floral fabrics and many textures and textiles... but as I sit at my sewing machine I look up to my cupboard and there is the boys pirate flag left over from a weekend play date when my gorgeous sewing room was transported by imagination in to a pirate ship landing on a island to find buried treasure... 
I sat this morning to write my post and there on my Mac book is a little interpretation of Indiana Jones as if he was saying  'Go on Mom...if you think your hard enough'
The children being close means buying things for my guys is easy, usually what one wants the other one does to, so its usually safer to buy things in pairs...
Being of the beach liking kinda family our beach equipment is usually all over the place, even in the winter, a pile of wetsuits waiting to be tossed into the back of the car for a day playing in the sea...
I am not trying to stereotype here, my boys are creative little souls and they both lean in different directions when it comes to what they like and dis like, It has been known for the boys to sit at my sewing machine and produce their own little bits of art, of course drawing is a daily occurrence in the house, we have pots of pens and paper in most of the rooms.  Of course we have the musical side to... with guitar and violin lessons weekly and practice through the week it can get quite loud some days.
Some days its so easy to be with my boys, they love a disco in the evening, only they are not swishy or swirly like me and they do not sing in to a microphone.  No they leap off the the sofa or chairs swaying their heads rather violently from side to side and up and down with air guitar in hand. But some days I get a little lost as my female ways are completely lost on them...I smile at the way they think burping and farting are just the funniest things in the world, how no matter how many times I ask them not to play rough they always end up playing Cow Boys and Indians, with one of them playing dead in the most dramatic and gory way possible.  How when we go into the garden they want to dig it all up rather than plant pretty flowers. 
When they say 'Mommy will you play a game' I have an idea of nice things not Star Wars or Ben Ten...How their favourite toy  LEGO is all over the house, from the proudly built trucks that sit like ornaments around the house to the Lego man that falls into my candle lite bath in the evening, or the bit I crunch under foot as we rush out the door for the school run...
The mess that seems to lie in the wake of these two little people never stops amazing me... the bedside desk with ever possible need catered for, a midnight snack or a mammoth night reading under the covers with your head torch to the all important trading cards ready for swapping with play dates.
The endless piles of stuff I pick up every day, the toilets that need to be flushed, the plates hidden under the sofa...
Is this the reality of little boys, is this really my poor mothering techniques... what ever it is, I could not be more proud of these little characters  and all their quirky ways...  So if you have boys or girls or may be your blessed with both... do you scream at them to tidy up, put away, keep clean, do this do not do that.... or do you look at the house when they have gone and enjoy the feeling that they played, they left their mark and tomorrow if your lucky it will happen all over again...

Show and Tell on the crafting front for my next post...

Being Mom

Mommy...the word itself conjures up so much emotion, everyone of us has had or has a Mom, possibly even are a Mom, planning on being or simply just enjoying the gift of life our Moms gave to us.  Its that time here in the UK when we remember our Mommy's. For some it might be mothers not with us anymore so it might be a time of sadness, it could be a time of forgiveness or even anger.  For some it could be their fist Mothering Sunday as a Mommy themselves.  What ever your situation the word 'Mother' is a powerful word capable of stirring up immense feelings.  So as I wrap up my Mothers Day gifts and bake my Mom a cake I mull over the meaning of the world 'Mother' and all it means to me...
I have two Mommies and I am a Mommy to two fabulous (if not a little cheeky) children.  I am adopted, I have previously mentioned this before, usually around Mothering Sunday and my Birthday.  I am a lucky girl, I was adopted as a little baby.  However the emotions that I have carried around with me all my life have had a big impact on who I am and how I do things. Before I had my own children I was deeply sad about the fact that I was an unwanted child, I was angry and felt rejected and somewhat lost in life.  I am ashamed to say I took this out sometimes on my adopted Mommy, I always felt I was second choice, second best, better than nothing.  I went through my life seeking approval, it seemed important to be part of a group BUT somehow I never fitted in.
If I thought I would get rejected I would run away before someone had a chance to hurt me, I could not face the familiar feeling of rejection.  It sounds depressing and all rather pathetic. It changed, so completely when I became pregnant with my own child, as I felt my own baby move within me, a life I had created and I wanted with all my heart, a child no matter what, I could never give up.  It made me realise a very important fact...My birth Mommy gave me the greatest gift of all, she gave me my life, she set me free and placed me in the arms of a family that raised me and loved me, kept me warm, healthy and taught me to be a good person.  The anger turned into compassion and love, I no longer wanted or needed to do everything on my own I actually wanted to find this person and tell them how thankful I was for the the precious gift they selflessly gave to me.
As for my adopted Mom, my Mom, well we are not all perfect and we all do things differently, and the roles are starting to turn around now, its my turn to look after my Mom. We mother very differently, my Mom often disagrees with my ways and is not afraid to say so. I know she says all this out of love,  I am a little too kooky for her, a little too involved in my community and I am a little too affectionate for her to be completely comfortable around me. However when I remind her she raised me, she is who I learnt from, how she would sit in the evening and brush my hair for hours, she smiles at me, its a special smile a smile between a mother and a daughter who despite the fact that we do not share the same blood, we have a bond that ties us together. A life time of history between us.
Once I took all these facts on board, I realised that who I was and what I did was not the result of my past but a learning curve that will probably never stop. When I look at my children and think of how I mother, I too smile, I think life and its gifts are amazing. My children ground me, they love me without question, there is a look in their eyes a special something that tells me without doubt that they love me, they accept me for who I am, faults and failings included, a look that I have never seen in any ones eyes before.  It amazes me, it takes my breath away and I know these little people are MY CHILDREN.
So now I accept who I am, I do not feel a need to be involved or accepted, especially if it means I have to compromise on being 'me', I don't really care if I am a little kooky, a little different, because that is who I am.  I am a creative soul, I believe in what we put into our lives is what we get out of them, and this is the best thing I feel I can teach my children as a Mother.  Yes the rejection theory still stays me.  I know its an adoptive thing and it will  stay with me till my grave, but I do not run away now, I try not let it stop me in my life.  I have a beautiful family, I have two Mommies, I am loved.  Yes being a Mom conjures up so many emotions and I thank my Mommies with all my heart for all they have done for me.  As for my Mom I just want to say (even though she does not read my blog)  I LOVE YOU thank you for picking me............................................... So if you can make a Mom feel better this weekend, go right ahead and do it, you might be surprised how good it makes you feel.

Thank you for all the thoughtful birthday comments and emails, the children and I read each and every one of them and I thank you from my heart.  We had a beautiful fun filled few days with many happy memories, especially time shared on the beach.  (see last photograph). Thank you

Happy Birthday

SO I am taking a couple of days away from blog land.  Official days because I am aware I have not been as regular in my posting as I would like... sometimes life just takes over...It's that time of year, the time of year I think about the best gift in the world to me, becoming a mother, not once but twice.  My children's birthdays are a day and two minutes apart, oh yes and a few years.....Its an exciting time, lots of giddiness in the home, and counting down the sleeps to the birthday celebrations....Hiding parcels, pretty paper for wrapping, baking and sewing up a storm....
It is also a time of great reflection, a bitter sweet time as I mark the passing of the years as I watch my babies grow up in their own individual ways.  How blessed I am to have such great guys that really are the best of friends and long may it continue.

Its right that I mention my children in my blog for if it was not for these two little people this creative side of mine would not have been revealed.  They are my inspiration, the very reason I get up in the morning, they fill my heart with such joy, the overwhelming feeling of love for them just takes my breath away.  I made these two little people, I grew them within my body, I gave birth to them in to this world of ours, I nurtured them with my milk, I taught them to walk and talk. They are individuals with distinct characters of there own.  Yes birthdays are a time for reflection, connection and awe inspiring amazement.... 

Happy Birthday my guys... in my humble opinion you are the BEST!!!

getting stuff done...

So you know how it is, something needs to be finished and you look at it day in day out until finally you say 'enough is enough'.  Less than an hour later of this thought the dress that had been started before Christmas and sat waiting for nearly three months to be finished... well it got finished...This is my second attempt at the JANE AUSTIN dress designed by the fabulous Mason and Dixon girls.  Its just the prettiest girlie dress.  Knitting and sewing combined, just my kinda thing.  With no girlie's of my own, what am I to do?  Its a good job I know some pretty special little girls... and this will be winging its way to one of them later this week...
Its a swishy swirly dress, ideal for dressing up play, party wear or even wearing over a tee and jeans for a more trendy look...
Now often its hard to get a child to wear something that has been handmade, my usual trick, especially for the boys, is to add in a pocket and put something in it... for the dress maybe a little knitted heart to match the outfit perhaps, for the boys its usually a bit of Lego...
So with this project finally getting finished and parcelled up I have had time to get on with 'my' new project, my tweed yarn is slowly being knitted up in to the most gorgeous tactile fabric...
Feeling a little under the weather at the moment, I have lost my voice, anyone that knows me will know how serious I think this is, others may see it as a nice rest for their ears!!!  So I am sat sitting in silence, its amazing how much more I get done when I am not out being social or chatting on the phone.

Hopefully, all being well, we are off beachwards this weekend, its starting to happen, the promise of brighter things to come, was it really three months ago I sat in front of the fire, thick snow on the ground longing for the summer, complaining that it seemed so far away and now it feels like a real possibility.

Have a great weekend, keep well and enjoy what you do.  Just made myself a cup of coffee and the pattern on the top is a beautiful perfect little heart... like the Starbucks ones... surly is a good sign...